Love Is Blind Read online

  "Here we are," Adrian's mother announced cheerfully, opening a door off the hallway and leading her inside.

  Clarissa stepped into the room and paused, her gaze shifting around the blurs that might have comprised a salon. Then her gaze landed on a pale pink confection in a chair by the fire, and she smiled uncertainly.

  "This is Mary," Lady Mowbray announced, closing the door. "Mary, this is Lady Clarissa Crambray."

  "Hello, Clarissa. It is lovely to meet you."

  Clarissa smiled uncertainly, bewildered to find that this had indeed been about introducing her to Reginald's sister. Clearing her throat, she murmured, "I'm sorry to hear about your ankle."

  "Oh, my ankle is fine," Mary said cheerfully. "I just have to pretend I twisted it tonight. By morning it will have made a miraculous recovery."

  Clarissa stared, wishing she could see the expressions of the two women. She'd never realized how important expression was in communication until she'd lost her spectacles, and her eyesight with them.

  Apparently her uncertainty showed, for Lady Mowbray chuckled softly and moved to her side. "Mary's ailment was invented shortly before we left for the ball, when Adrian asked for my help in getting you away from your stepmother. He seemed to think she would be difficult about his speaking with you."

  "And you agreed to help him?" Clarissa asked, uncertain.

  "Of course, dear. If Adrian is interested in you, I am more than pleased to help him along."

  "But..." Clarissa hesitated and then blurted, "My lady, has no one told you about the scandal attached to me?" Silence followed, and she again wished she could see well enough to make out expressions.

  Not a moment later, Lady Mowbray clasped Clarissa's hands in her own and said solemnly, 'Yes, my dear, I have heard all about the scandal and your brief marriage to Captain Fielding. However, it is my opinion that none of it was your fault. And frankly, I would not care if it were. You are the first woman my Adrian has shown an interest in for ten years. I would not care if

  you had killed the archbishop of Canterbury; I would still help this along."

  Clarissa stood, squinting at the woman in amazement, then was suddenly pulled toward the French doors leading outside.

  "Now, come with me, dear," Lady Mowbray said. "Mary and I are going to sit and visit in here while you speak with Adrian." The woman opened the doors and urged Clarissa through them.

  "But what if Lydia--," Clarissa began, only to be interrupted.

  "We shall deal with your stepmother. Lady Devereaux owed me a favor and will do her utmost to keep your stepmother busy for as long as necessary. And if she fails, I shall handle Lydia myself. Do not worry. Go now. Unless ... you do not wish to visit with Adrian?"

  "Oh, yes," Clarissa said quickly, having heard the concern in the woman's voice. "I do."

  "Well, then, off you go." Lady Mowbray's fuzzy image was blocked by the French doors as they closed with a soft click.

  Clarissa stared at the blur of curtains and door, then turned slowly and hesitated. She couldn't see very well, but thought there was a path directly ahead. She started to ease uncertainly forward, then paused as a shadow detached itself from the dark haze of trees and moved forward.

  "I am glad you wanted to come," Adrian said, and Clarissa relaxed as she recognized his voice. She should have known he wouldn't expect her to wander through the darkness alone to try to find him.

  Clarissa smiled as he took her hand and began to

  lead her along the path. She said, 'Your mother managed to separate me from Lydia."

  "So I see." She could hear the smile in his voice.

  "I am rather surprised that she did," Clarissa admitted. "But... my scandal does not seem to bother her."

  "Ah, yes, your scandal," Adrian murmured. "You must tell me about that."

  "Have you not yet heard about it?" Clarissa asked with concern. 'Your mother said she had, and I hoped it meant you knew about it as well."

  "I know what they are saying, but would like to hear the story from you."

  "Oh." Clarissa sighed. "Well, there is not really much to tell. I was visiting my aunt, and a servant arrived saying I was needed back home. I rode out of the city with the servant, then we stopped at an inn and Captain Fielding and his sister were there. They said Father was in trouble and had sent them to bring me north, so it was back into the carriage for another long journey. When next we stopped, Captain Fielding went to meet with Father, or said he was, and returned saying that my father wished me to marry at once, that he needed my inheritance from my mother's father to save the family name." She paused to explain, "I will receive that only when I marry, you see, and Father was supposed to be in debt."

  "And Captain Fielding offered himself to help you save the family," Adrian said dryly.

  Yes. I thought it was terribly kind until I found out the truth of it all later." Clarissa made a face. "Anyway, this meant another long ride to Gretna Green to be married, which was followed by yet another long ride. For all the scandal it caused, it was all really rather boring."

  'You found getting kidnapped and married boring?" Adrian asked with amusement.

  Clarissa shrugged. "Well, it hardly felt like a wedding. We stood in front of a blacksmith with a couple of other people there and said, 'I will,' and bang, it was done."

  "And the wedding night?" Adrian asked.

  Clarissa frowned. There was a tension in his voice she didn't wholly understand. "There was no wedding night. We could not have annulled the marriage had there been."

  You mean he did not even try to ... ?"

  "He did approach me about it, but we had traveled so much and I was so exhausted ..." Clarissa shrugged and ducked her head to hide her pink cheeks. She was embarrassed and uncomfortable with this line of questioning. "He did not force me. He left me be and went to sleep in another room."

  The tension in his arm, upon which he'd placed her hand, suddenly relaxed, and Clarissa glanced at Adrian curiously, once again wishing she could see his expression.

  "I am glad," he said, then added quickly, "Not that I would have blamed you or thought less of you if the marriage had been consummated. I am just glad that it was not."

  Clarissa considered his words, then sighed. "The rest of the ton thinks the marriage was consummated, do they not?"

  "That seems to be the prevailing thought. I am afraid while your father's taking you home to the country to avoid the scandal was understandable, your disappearance allowed a vicious rumor to surface that the marriage had been consummated and produced

  offspring. Some said you were in the country giving birth to and raising the child from the marriage."

  Clarissa's jaw dropped open and she turned to him with horror. "That is what they all think?"

  She thought Adrian was frowning, but couldn't be sure until he said grimly, "Perhaps I should not have told you this."

  "No, I am glad you did. Better to know what I am dealing with than not." She sighed. "The only problem is, I know of no way to combat such gossip."

  "Perhaps there is no way," he said quietly. "Perhaps the only action here is to learn to ignore it and not care what people think."

  "Is that possible?" Clarissa asked unhappily.

  "I do not know. Does it matter to you what they think? You were so cheerful when recounting your blunders since your spectacles were taken away, I felt sure you did not concern yourself with such things."

  "Mostly I do not," she acknowledged. "I know what has and has not happened. I know what kind of person I am. The only time I find it hard is when people whisper behind their fans within my hearing." Clarissa smiled wryly. "I would almost rather they flat-out said these things to me so that I could clear my name."

  Adrian reached up to squeeze her hand resting on his arm, then drew her to a halt. "Here we are."

  Clarissa turned her gaze forward and squinted around at the little clearing to which he'd led her. There was something on the ground, a large square with different patches of color. A quil
t, she realized, and there appeared to be items on the quilt.

  "A picnic?" Clarissa ventured uncertainly. Adrian chuckled and led her forward to sit on one corner of the quilt.

  'Yes. I remembered you saying that your stepmother will not let you eat or drink at these functions, and you are left hungry and thirsty. I thought I could remedy that. We have meat, cheese, bread, fruit, and wine."

  Clarissa stared at the blur of items around her, tears welling up in her eyes to obstruct her sight further. She'd said she missed reading, so he'd arranged for his cousin to bring her out so that he could read to her. She'd mentioned she could neither eat nor drink and he'd provided her with a picnic.

  Incredibly touched by his thoughtfulness and consideration, Clarissa decided Adrian must be the sweetest of men.

  "And..." He produced something light-colored with a flourish, and Clarissa blinked in confusion until he said, 'Your bib, my lady. To prevent any little accidents from giving us away. You may feel free to pretend I am one of your servants and wear it with me. Shall I help you don it?"

  Clarissa gaped, then burst out laughing, her tears drying before any had left her eyes. Adrian was definitely the most wonderful of men. He made her laugh and was considerate as well, and she sat still for him to put the bib on her.

  " 'Tis not really a bib," he announced as he settled it around her neck. " 'Tis just one of Cook's towels, but it was the best I could do at short notice."

  "Thank you," Clarissa murmured. Adrian finished and settled back on his corner of the blanket. "This is all lovely. And I am starved."

  "Then we shall eat," he said cheerfully, and began to offer her food. There was cold roast chicken, cheese, a scrumptious sourdough bread, and strawberries, grapes, and apples to choose from. They ate and chatted and laughed an awful lot, and Clarissa thought she must be happier than she'd ever been in her life.

  The food was long gone, and Clarissa was laughing at a tale Adrian had just told about troubles with his cantankerous old butler, when she sensed him stiffen and saw his head shift so that he was looking somewhere over her shoulder. Her laughter dying, Clarissa turned to see that a woman in pale pink stood just inside the clearing. Mary, she realized a moment before the girl spoke.

  "Aunt sent me to tell you Clarissa has to return now," Reg's sister said apologetically.

  Adrian and Clarissa were both silent for a moment; then Adrian said, "I shall bring her back directly. Tell her thank you, and thank you, too, Mary, for your help this night."

  "I am glad you enjoyed it. You get little enough pleasure, cousin," the girl said softly, then turned and disappeared back into the night.

  Clarissa glanced at Adrian, sorry that it was time for their picnic to end. Neither spoke as he helped her to her feet and removed her bib; then he took her hand to lead her back along the path. When they reached the door where he'd collected her, Clarissa turned her face up to his.

  "Thank you, my lord," she said solemnly. "I had a lovely time. I have not enjoyed myself so much since ... well, since die last time we met," Clarissa admitted with a smile. "I am the most fortunate of women to have a friend such as you."

  She sensed the way Adrian stiffened at her words, but didn't understand until he said huskily, sounding disappointed, "A friend, Clarissa? Is that how you see me?"

  She could feel herself flush, and lowered her head

  to hide her face as she admitted, "I did not wish to presume on your--"

  Adrian cut off her words by catching her under the chin with one finger, lifting her face, and covering her mouth with his own.

  Clarissa went still as their mouths touched, his sliding over hers, soft but firm, brushing in a gentle, insistent caress. Her lips parted slightly as a little sigh escaped; then she felt something press forward into her mouth. Clarissa was so startled that she froze for a moment at the intrusion. When she realized that it was Adrian's tongue, she stiffened even further, shock claiming her. Then his tongue swept through her mouth and she tasted the sweetness of wine mixed with his very own taste, and she sighed again, her body relaxing and her mouth opening further as he tilted her head to the side.

  Clarissa had been married but never kissed. She supposed that was odd, but it was how things were. She'd never experienced the excitement and pleasure that were suddenly rushing through her, and found it all a bit overwhelming. Clutching at Adrian's arms to help keep her balance, she really didn't kiss him back at all at first, but stayed still beneath his ministrations until his tongue lashed hers, goading her on. Uncertain at first, Clarissa moved her own tongue forward and reciprocated, gasping in surprise at the sparks that seemed suddenly to erupt between them.

  A groan sliding from his throat, Adrian slid his arms around her, pressing her close to his body as his mouth crushed hers again and again. Clarissa slid her own arms around his neck, nearly strangling him as she tried to get closer still. She felt one of his hands drift down to her bottom and press her forward until

  she rubbed against a hardness that her mind was too slow to understand just then; then he suddenly released her and stepped away.

  Clarissa stared blindly, aware that she was panting. It took her another moment to recognize that Adrian's breathing was ragged as well. His voice when he spoke was a growl, and he said, 'You had best go in now."

  He opened die door and turned her with a gentle hand, careful to keep a distance between them as he propelled her inside, promising, "I shall see you soon."

  Clarissa heard the door close behind her and released a little sigh. Her mouth curved into a soft smile. / shall see you soon. Those were the loveliest five words she'd ever heard, she thought, her arms rising to wrap around herself.

  "Did you have a good time then?" a voice asked.

  "Of course she did. Look at that smile."

  Clarissa gave a start, flushing as she recognized Lady Mowbray asking the question and Mary answering. She found the two women approaching from the fireside, and was suddenly worried that they had witnessed the kiss Adrian had given her, but neither woman said anything the least bit embarrassing, or reprimanded her for her poor behavior in allowing such intimacy. There were smiles in their voices as they fussed over her, straightening her hair and brushing wrinkles out of her dress. Lady Mowbray then led her from the room and back to the ball.

  They had just reached the door to the ballroom when Adrian's mother paused and turned to face her.

  "Clarissa, my dear. I truly . . ." She hesitated, took a breath, and touched Clarissa's hand. "I have never seen my son so happy as he has been in the short time

  since he met you. I want to thank you for that. Whatever happens, thank you for that."

  "He is a very special man," Clarissa murmured, blushing.

  'Yes. But not everyone sees that," Lady Mowbray said sadly. "Some cannot see past the scar on his face."

  "Like my stepmother," Clarissa suggested quietly.

  "She is only one of many," Lady Mowbray assured her, then heaved a little sigh and added, "We had best go in now. Your stepmother will be frantic by this time." And taking her arm, Lady Mowbray led her into the ballroom and across the floor to her stepmother.

  "There you are!" Lydia was on her feet by the time they reached her, and Clarissa could hear the anger underlying her words. 'You have been gone for two hours."

  "That is my fault," Lady Mowbray said with a smile. "I am afraid the girls were getting along so well, I did not have the heart to bring an end to it."

  "Well, I am glad," Lydia murmured, but Clarissa frowned, recognizing that her stepmother wasn't appeased. Something was wrong.

  "Well, the two of you must come to tea soon," Lady Mowbray went on cheerfully, not knowing Lydia well enough to recognize anything amiss. "I shall invite you and Mary, too, so that the girls can have another visit."

  "That would be delightful," Lydia replied.

  Lady Mowbray hesitated and then nodded. "Till we meet again then."

  Adrian's mother gave Clarissa's hand a little squeeze, then turne
d and left them alone. The moment she was out of hearing, Lydia took Clarissa's arm and urged her to move.

  "Where are we going?" Clarissa asked warily. Her stepmother led her across the ballroom.

  "Home," the woman snapped.

  Clarissa bit her lip, but she remained silent as they left the Devereaux home and waited for their carriage. Lydia didn't go on the attack until they were safely seated inside with the door closed.

  "You were awfully flushed when you returned from your 'visit with Mary.'" Lydia's voice was cold and emotionless.

  Clarissa went still, feeling extremely wary. "We were seated by the fire. It was a bit warm."

  "And your lips were still a touch swollen from kissing Lord Mowbray outside the salon doors."

  Clarissa felt herself freeze inside. "You saw?"

  "I saw," Lydia agreed in a voice full of rage. "Lord Prudhomme wished to speak to me, and we went for a short walk in the gardens. We saw you on our way back, and watched from the trees as you let Mowbray paw you like an animal and--"

  Lydia paused abruptly, as if too sickened to continue. But Clarissa hardly noticed; she had stiffened at the mention of Prudhomme and a walk in the garden, distinctly recalling what she'd witnessed of the man's walks in the garden with other women.

  "How you can let that man touch you?" Lydia snarled. "Here you have a good man like Lord Prudhomme willing to overlook your scandalous past, and you choose to--once again--throw yourself toward ruin. This time with Mowbray."

  "Prudhomme? A good man?" Clarissa asked with amazement. Then she realized she'd never told her stepmother what she'd seen in the gardens.

  "Yes. A good man," Lydia snapped. "He is willing to

  overlook the scandal, your clumsiness, and even the kiss he witnessed."

  "Is that not kind of him," Clarissa said dryly. "I suppose in return I am to overlook his affairs?"